If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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