were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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