Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
