What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
