I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
We need to get me chipped asap
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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