3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
FUCK WHALES
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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