This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
