Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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