just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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