We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
