Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
