oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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