i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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