He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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