it's too hot outside to masturbate.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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