I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
