So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
vagina is talking i cant
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
