You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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