It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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