Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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