Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Randomize