would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
