He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I smell like Dick and happiness
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