I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
