found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
