I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
