and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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