She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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