names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize