So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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