proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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