I'm gonna have a badass scar
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
