are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
True college students do jello shots in the library
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
