Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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