she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
It's blow job season.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
