Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
