Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
