ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
