I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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