He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
