Yo dont text me then not text me
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
