Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I'm always down for nudity.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
