no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize