yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
