in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
