The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
