i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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