we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Sober January is a disaster.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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