Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
