How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Randomize
