i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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