Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i think i scared a bird with my dick
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
