In the future we'll all be gay
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
