Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
