that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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