just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
