so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
