I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
