i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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