you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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