I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
