If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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